Picking up my race kit

I'm getting my race kit for my 10k for diabetes tomorrow. I have shin splints. I've been resting since Tuesday. I iced tonight. I'll be advilin' it up the day of.

I paid for my course today. Myself. The funding didn't happen, but I want this to happen. I'm going to make it happen. I just don't know how, exactly, but I'll do it! You only live once!

So, I start reading tomorrow night! Talk about kicking off a new life!

Good to go!

I can get the funding! WOOT! I called this morning and they will pay for my degree starting in May. I called to find out about the intro to sociology credit and I can do it in the Spring session. I was brainstorming today on the questions I need to answer for my application essay. I like writing papers and studying. Not so much in the mass amounts when I'm actually doing a couple of courses at a time, but it's something that I'm good at.

The lady I spoke with was impressed with my years of experience and my education and suggested I apply for the MSW program instead, but I don't have an educational reference anymore. I'll just take the slower route to my MSW.

Exciting times!

Where I'm at

To think I once kept a frequently updated journal for a couple years. Let's see if i can manage it this time.

I'm going to try to go to school. It's not obstacle free, it never is. There is only one program offered in Canada. Long-distance Bachelor of Social Work (BSW) professional years only. It's at an area University - perfect for learning of the needs of my community and the resources. But...I don't have an intro sociology. I have to contact the director of the program to find out if I can do it over the summer or in the first semester of the program.

I have to write an essay answering questions. Send in transcripts, apply through the application centre.

But first I have to call my reserve to see if they'll pay for it. They paid for my first 3 courses.

When I was pregnant with Peyton I took 3 courses and got an A- in each of them. I fully intended to continue after a semester, but Peyton was colicky and screamed for months. Also would only allow me to hold her, not even Daddy. Then she wouldn't sleep in longer than 2 -3 hour increments. I didn't take into account the adjustment of a new baby with a preschooler and full-time work.

I want to see if they'll still support me.

And then I also have to be connect with a reserve for the degree. This is a big challenge socially for me. I have social contacts, but I'd have to call the traditional healer and ask if I can volunteer and attend at ceremonies. I used to and enjoyed but but haven't been in 7 years.

So I don't know, but I think if I put my mind to it I'll get sponsored and get in. I'm trying to move mountains so I fully live my life. Create a life of adventure.

Living Life

Since our last episode, I have gone back to work after 2 months of summer vacation. Crappy weather, but not so bad nonetheless. I started running with the cross-country team, which makes me look involved in the school.

It's been pretty hard to do stuff the last 5 years with 2 pregnancies, mat leaves and young children. We have new administration staff at both my schools and they are all awesome. Plus they don't know that I haven't done extracurricular stuff ever. They just see me running every day. And I really want to be more involved and now I'm able to. Another checkmark for not having another.

I'm thrilled to be back at work. I'm enjoying it all.

The dog is doing well. Not stiffness-free, but we don't expect perfect nor fast.

Running is rocking my world right now. In exactly one week I am running my first 5k fun run. This is the first of my life's goals that I'm checking off. I look forward to each check on that list (ever evolving list that it is).

Here are the last running journal entries:

Aug 30: 31:28:42

Sep 1:

Second day back at work. Early morning run today. I left at 6:30. I'd planned to leave at 6, but I barely slept last night so it was hard to drag my ass out of bed into the cold.

31:25:17 - so far my best time but just by mere seconds. Oh, the elusive 30 minutes....another month I bet. I am pretty consistent in my times.

I may regret this, but I'm starting running with the cross-country "team" tomorrow. I use the term "team" lightly We are a tiny school and we may have 3 runners. But the coach hasn't run in months so I should be able to keep up.

I always feel bad because I have zero skills to offer for extracurricular volunteering. But if I can run, then I can do this.

Of course, I ran at the crack of dawn this morning so no day off for me. It is COLD at dawn - my hands were red when I came in.

Wish me luck that I don't eat their dust tomorrow

Sept 2:

There were 2 kids, our superstar is still on vacation. We did 5.8km in 33:44:56. The boy ran farther and the girl took longer than the coach and I. She tells me that she has to ride her bike to coach the other guy because he's just insanely fast. I have no idea how people do a 5k in 18 minutes.

It was a blast running with someone! I had a bit of trouble carrying on a conversation at the beginning, but the talk definitely makes the time go by fast. I'm so happy I did this. It's going to improve my speed and distance for sure. I get to do all the interval and hill training. I'll learn about it from someone who knows what they're doing and I'm learning how to stretch properly.

Sept 4:

We did cross country through the bush today. It was AWESOME! A bit slower to jump over branches, puddles and run through long grass that hides what the ground is like. I was so busy looking at my feet that I forgot to watch out for branches in my face. I don't know the distance but we did 36 minutes

Sep 5: 43:56:04

Sep 6 (Tonight)

5k - 29:22:99

I finally broke 30 minutes! That's been my goal for a while!

My mantra the last 3 minutes was: "I can do this!" It was hard. But I feel great now!

Doggy Stuff

August 26

Tika has sore back hips. Since yesterday she is limping a bit. I told DH tonight that I am calling the vet tomorrow. I just can't imagine being completely dependent on someone and they are ignoring you're chronic pain I just picture myself alone in a bed in a seniors home.

But omg, the vet bill is going to be big. Just to diagnosis it I'm sure will run $500+. Then to treat it I'm really nervous about it. We are so tight on money, not just because we want to do stuff later in life, but simply to survive. I'm just worried they're going to tell me it's in the $2000 range or something like that.

We cannot do that. It would take years to pay it off and there would be no sports or lessons of any kind for our girls. I don't want to have to make a decision to end her life or let her suffer. She's only 5 years. I don't imagine someone would adopt an older dog with health issues.Send some good luck vibes for us.

August 28 - vet appointment

The ligaments in her back knees are both ruptured and she has developed arthritis as her body's way of stabilizing the knees. He said typically they distribute their weight 60% in the front but by the looks of her overdeveloped muscles in front and lack of them in the rear that she's more likely doing 85%. To fix it would need surgery - $3800. Which isn't happening but we can keep her comfortable as long as we can. She's only 5, so she's still too young to say screw it and kill her.

She's going to be on a medication for pain and inflammation and Glucosamine. We're going the cheap route for now, it it isn't working there is a powder that is more expensive than the glucosamine, after that there is a food. We think we're going to a series of 4 weekly shots that is supposed to "kick start" the glucosamine so that she has relief faster than the 8 weeks it takes for the glucosamine to work.

No intense exercise and no stairs. Good thing we have baby gates. And it ended up not too bad for the bill - $185. Ne xrays, just felt her joints. The medication isn't too expensive. Poor doggy, I hope it works fast.

My poor puppy, we walked in the vet and she tried to bolt out the door so I had to drag her in. She lay on the floor and shook like crazy. We had to push her to the examination room and she trembled and panted the whole time.

August 29

I put the medicine on her toast and the other stuff mixed in a bit of peanut butter spread on top and she thinks she's gone to heaven. Peanut butter is her favourite thing in the world.

We went out and bought her the best dog bed we could find - she's been sleeping on layers and layers of blankets on top of foam floor mats. There wasn't much out there, but this one was the thickest and it has a removable cover for washing that no other ones had She loves it We figured since we spent less on the vet than we thought that we'd spend a bit on a damn dog bed for her It's the least we could do.

But we had to reconfigure our entrance since it's the only place she can be in the house. Everything has stairs (babygated again - I just in the last month got rid of those) and the entrance is surrounded by the room with the "new" floor - 2 years and she won't go near it - and the kitchen which she has always been terrified of.We moved the bench into the sittingroom and put the bed in it's place - the only space it fit. She loves the bed, but would rather it be in one of her regular spots (suck it up).

The photo is my favourite of her from 2 years ago. I was 5 months pregnant and had just gotten home from my last day of work before summer vacation. DH and Ava were out so I took the Dog and my camera to the patch of milkweed to take photos of caterpillars and snapped of her as we lay in the overgrown grass just basking in the sun.

Hot Damn!

Today was perfect weather. It's starting to turn to fall now. Everything is summer green and can get warm, but the nights are fall temperature-wise. I ran in the afternoon after getting to sleep in, eat, nurse the baby down for her nap and take the big girl to the playground for a little mommy-daughter one on one time. So I was rested and fuelled, both physically and soul-wise.

While heading to the playground, I warned Ava that I was going to use the odometre on the car to measure how long 5k was so I knew exactly what I was looking at. She was cool with it and it was 10 minutes longer than what I had run the last time I did it, but I knew I could most likely do it.

The last couple of runs I had to do it from my in-laws in town while they watched the girls. I measured it out the last time and it was 5.2k. I had done both days in 3 intervals of 1o min "run" and 2 min walk.

I was a little excited right before starting. I got the butterflies feeling. I had found my watch and figured out how to use it to time my run. The first half went really well and when I got to the 15 mark I realized I didn't need to stop. Then I hit the halfway mark and turned around. I ran the first half in strong headwinds. It was nice to have it at my back.

My goal was 34 min. I came in at 31:22:43

About 2/3 of the way I realized that I was breathing the same as when I walk and my body was just cruising along, discomfort free. I really enjoyed it!

The ball behind my toes on my right foot was aching a bit the last 2 minutes. It's not intense, just noticable. I think I need an insert. I think I might just try a prefab one first and then if it continues look into my insurance coverage.

My fun run goal is under 30 min. I really think I will do it. I have 9 scheduled runs left to go.

I also was honked at once by a green truck. I run along the highway in a rural area. I'm thinking it was a "You go girl!" honk or a "Nice ass, honey!" honk.

Time, the confidence builder

I ran 3 sets of intervals today: 10 minutes of running, 2 of walking. I ran in town from my in-laws and was amazed at the distance I covered. It's different than when I'm running up and down my highway. I thought I'd be shy to run in front of people, particularly if I saw someone I knew but time has built up my confidence. I did see several people I worked with, but I felt good not embarrassed.

I find it interesting that 10 years I bought a bikini, wore it once and decided I looked horrible. I bought a bikini last week and I flounce all over the beach in it feeling hot. I would love to have the body I did 10 years ago. I think it's because any imperfections now I can say, Hey! I had 2 kids. I think I look good for having grown 2 big babies. And once again, time has increased my confidence. I feel more sure of myself at nearly 32 than I did at 22.