Doggy Stuff

August 26

Tika has sore back hips. Since yesterday she is limping a bit. I told DH tonight that I am calling the vet tomorrow. I just can't imagine being completely dependent on someone and they are ignoring you're chronic pain I just picture myself alone in a bed in a seniors home.

But omg, the vet bill is going to be big. Just to diagnosis it I'm sure will run $500+. Then to treat it I'm really nervous about it. We are so tight on money, not just because we want to do stuff later in life, but simply to survive. I'm just worried they're going to tell me it's in the $2000 range or something like that.

We cannot do that. It would take years to pay it off and there would be no sports or lessons of any kind for our girls. I don't want to have to make a decision to end her life or let her suffer. She's only 5 years. I don't imagine someone would adopt an older dog with health issues.Send some good luck vibes for us.

August 28 - vet appointment

The ligaments in her back knees are both ruptured and she has developed arthritis as her body's way of stabilizing the knees. He said typically they distribute their weight 60% in the front but by the looks of her overdeveloped muscles in front and lack of them in the rear that she's more likely doing 85%. To fix it would need surgery - $3800. Which isn't happening but we can keep her comfortable as long as we can. She's only 5, so she's still too young to say screw it and kill her.

She's going to be on a medication for pain and inflammation and Glucosamine. We're going the cheap route for now, it it isn't working there is a powder that is more expensive than the glucosamine, after that there is a food. We think we're going to a series of 4 weekly shots that is supposed to "kick start" the glucosamine so that she has relief faster than the 8 weeks it takes for the glucosamine to work.

No intense exercise and no stairs. Good thing we have baby gates. And it ended up not too bad for the bill - $185. Ne xrays, just felt her joints. The medication isn't too expensive. Poor doggy, I hope it works fast.

My poor puppy, we walked in the vet and she tried to bolt out the door so I had to drag her in. She lay on the floor and shook like crazy. We had to push her to the examination room and she trembled and panted the whole time.

August 29

I put the medicine on her toast and the other stuff mixed in a bit of peanut butter spread on top and she thinks she's gone to heaven. Peanut butter is her favourite thing in the world.

We went out and bought her the best dog bed we could find - she's been sleeping on layers and layers of blankets on top of foam floor mats. There wasn't much out there, but this one was the thickest and it has a removable cover for washing that no other ones had She loves it We figured since we spent less on the vet than we thought that we'd spend a bit on a damn dog bed for her It's the least we could do.

But we had to reconfigure our entrance since it's the only place she can be in the house. Everything has stairs (babygated again - I just in the last month got rid of those) and the entrance is surrounded by the room with the "new" floor - 2 years and she won't go near it - and the kitchen which she has always been terrified of.We moved the bench into the sittingroom and put the bed in it's place - the only space it fit. She loves the bed, but would rather it be in one of her regular spots (suck it up).

The photo is my favourite of her from 2 years ago. I was 5 months pregnant and had just gotten home from my last day of work before summer vacation. DH and Ava were out so I took the Dog and my camera to the patch of milkweed to take photos of caterpillars and snapped of her as we lay in the overgrown grass just basking in the sun.

Hot Damn!

Today was perfect weather. It's starting to turn to fall now. Everything is summer green and can get warm, but the nights are fall temperature-wise. I ran in the afternoon after getting to sleep in, eat, nurse the baby down for her nap and take the big girl to the playground for a little mommy-daughter one on one time. So I was rested and fuelled, both physically and soul-wise.

While heading to the playground, I warned Ava that I was going to use the odometre on the car to measure how long 5k was so I knew exactly what I was looking at. She was cool with it and it was 10 minutes longer than what I had run the last time I did it, but I knew I could most likely do it.

The last couple of runs I had to do it from my in-laws in town while they watched the girls. I measured it out the last time and it was 5.2k. I had done both days in 3 intervals of 1o min "run" and 2 min walk.

I was a little excited right before starting. I got the butterflies feeling. I had found my watch and figured out how to use it to time my run. The first half went really well and when I got to the 15 mark I realized I didn't need to stop. Then I hit the halfway mark and turned around. I ran the first half in strong headwinds. It was nice to have it at my back.

My goal was 34 min. I came in at 31:22:43

About 2/3 of the way I realized that I was breathing the same as when I walk and my body was just cruising along, discomfort free. I really enjoyed it!

The ball behind my toes on my right foot was aching a bit the last 2 minutes. It's not intense, just noticable. I think I need an insert. I think I might just try a prefab one first and then if it continues look into my insurance coverage.

My fun run goal is under 30 min. I really think I will do it. I have 9 scheduled runs left to go.

I also was honked at once by a green truck. I run along the highway in a rural area. I'm thinking it was a "You go girl!" honk or a "Nice ass, honey!" honk.

Time, the confidence builder

I ran 3 sets of intervals today: 10 minutes of running, 2 of walking. I ran in town from my in-laws and was amazed at the distance I covered. It's different than when I'm running up and down my highway. I thought I'd be shy to run in front of people, particularly if I saw someone I knew but time has built up my confidence. I did see several people I worked with, but I felt good not embarrassed.

I find it interesting that 10 years I bought a bikini, wore it once and decided I looked horrible. I bought a bikini last week and I flounce all over the beach in it feeling hot. I would love to have the body I did 10 years ago. I think it's because any imperfections now I can say, Hey! I had 2 kids. I think I look good for having grown 2 big babies. And once again, time has increased my confidence. I feel more sure of myself at nearly 32 than I did at 22.

Fresh Start

That's what this point in my life feels like. On the cusp of beginning a new stage of life. My life thus far has been made up of stories that begin: "I always wanted to _____, but..." I'm tired of it.

I want to live a life of adventure. I never felt that I could but I've come to the realization that the only thing limiting me is myself. The master of my destiny, so to speak.

I have spent my life setting goals, vague plans of how to get there and doing so, for the most part. I have sold myself short. I have a blessed and full life. Now I realize that I can have this and so much more. I have goals now, but I have a plan.

I'm in the process of figuring out how to get to where I want to be. I am currently limited by:

1) Two young daughters. Hard to travel, to basically do anything other than cook, clean and raise two spirited, intelligent, energetic children to successful, fulfilled adults. The question weighing heavily on my mind these days is do we want the 3rd child that we always knew we'd have? Or are we fulfilled enough with my girls that I can give that up to fulfill other dreams?

2) Finances. My husband needs to be retrained so that he can have a career that pays more, both financially and in job satisfaction. Also, we live tight but where else can we cut back? This involves an emotional decision based on living where we live or buying our in law's house. I will elaborate later, this deserves it's own post. Long story short, yes, we will be buying my in law's house when they are ready to sell it.

3) We also need to live for today. I do not want to bust my ass for the dream retirement only to die suddenly 6 months before joining the love of my life in retirement. That is the story of my best friend's mother. I want to enjoy my dreams throughout my life. A life of adventure, not a life that ended with adventure.

4) We need to be in physical shape to accomplish the dream trip at retirement. We are both computer chair people so we need to step up. I want to be healthy and fit, not trapped by a body I didn't do the upkeep on.

On July 15th I started the Couch to 5 K program. I'm doing a modified version of it now in order to run my first 5K on September 13th, the day before my 32nd birthday. I ran for a summer when I was 23. I loved it and always wanted to run a 5K. I want to say I ran a 5K. Several in fact.

This journal is to document my life of adventure, and the trials and triumphs along the way.